My 39 Steps Moment…..

My 39 Steps Moment…..

I have never been much of a reader, but at times I have become attached to an author. When I was young I was a voracious reader of the Biggles novels by Captain W.E. Johns. I remember buying the hardback books for half a crown (2/6 = 12.5p). Later I progressed, if that is the word, to the works of Donald E. Westlake and finally the Science Fiction novels written by Russians Arkady and Boris Strugatsky. Their wonderful short novel ‘Roadside Picnic’ (Пикник на обочине, Piknik na obochine) still resonates in my mind as I type this. Then for no apparent reason I stopped reading for thirty years, until that is I got my Kindle twelve months ago.

I have always loved Alfred Hitchcock’s 1935 Masterpiece, ‘The 39 Steps’, (starring Robert Donat and Madeleine Carroll), adapted from the novel by John Buchan which first appeared as a serial in Blackwood's Magazine in August and September 1915. Out of copyright the book was freely available as a digital download. Having already listened to Orson Welles’s excellent 1939 ‘Mercury Theatre on the Air’ version (Broadcast August 1, 1939), I knew the plot of the book was not strictly followed by Hitchcock. As it transpired the only part of the plot Hitchcock had followed was the title and the name of the main character. In every other major respect Hitchcock made up his own story. For example, in the book the ‘Steps’ are steps, whereas in the film as Mr. Memory so eloquently says ‘The 39 Steps is an organisation of spies’. Never mind, it was a good read, but not as good as the film. I Googled and found Buchan had written other novels featuring Hannay, so I downloaded them all. I read the first sequel, ‘Greenmantle’; it was puerile nonsense, full of absurd coincidences and unbelievable characters. I came to the conclusion John Buchan could not write for toffee and although the other novels are on my Kindle, they remain unread. My reading had stopped again – I curse you John Buchan, 1st Baron Tweedsmuir, Governor General of Canada.

But the point of this story was not to vilify the late author, but rather to describe my own ‘39 Steps Moment’.

Some years ago when I had a show on the ancestor of ‘103theeye’, ‘The Wireless Company’, Pat Macracken asked me to represent the station at a symposium in Melton Mowbray. He did not mention the purpose of the event; he simply alluded to the fact that in some way it related to radio. I made myself a packed lunch, drove to the place in question and consumed my sandwiches in the car park. I got out and walked to the door. On the glass panel was an A4 piece of paper with the word ‘Publicity’ boldly printed in large letters. I opened the door and walked in. I could see through a line of windows a group of people seated in chairs. As I walked up to the door a number of the people looked towards me. I opened the door and walked in to be greeted by the following immortal words, ‘Oh Good, the speaker has arrived’.

I looked around expecting to be followed in by the speaker, but as I did so I was ushered towards a seat at the front. I sat and desperately looked towards an agenda being held by the chairwoman, but could not read a word. The woman was quite agitated, I was clearly late, she gave some words of gracious introduction and I was on my feet! In the few moments I had been seated I had taken a blank piece of paper from my pocket and written down ‘The 39 Steps.’

In the Hitchcock movie Hannay is mistaken at one point for the warm up man for a prospective Liberal candidate who he refers to as ‘Mr. McCrocodile’. I had entered a similar scenario….

I began by mentioning the scene in question and then proceeded to speak for about fifteen minutes. As to what I said, I have no recollection! I sat down to a mixture of quite enthusiastic applause and one or two strangely glazed looks. The chairwoman looked slightly more baffled than most, but seemed quite pleased by my contribution.  She stood up, thanked me and told the assembly that after lunch I had agreed to lead one of the discussion groups!

Yes, there was lunch, a superb buffet that, already full of sausage sandwiches, I hardly touched.

Oh and of course the question of the discussion group…

After lunch, still having not seen an agenda, armed with a large felt tip pen and A1 board I lead the first of two sessions. Just before the end of the first session, which seemed to go remarkably well… who should arrive…. but Pat!

I said that as regrettably I had to leave for another engagement Pat would take over and with that I left.

I still have no real idea what it was about, but it will always be my ‘39 Steps Moment’….

My friend Bill loved cakes

A couple of years before Bill died his wonderful next door neighbours Graham and Sheila were given control of his money. Every week they bought him things for his store cupboard and fridge. One Friday - I went down to see him every Friday - I went to get Bill a couple of Mr. Kipling’s finest to go with his coffee…. the cupboard was bare. I looked everywhere, but no cakes to be seen. I went back in to the living room and told Bill the shocking news… Graham and Sheila - who were on holiday in their caravan for a week - had forgotten to buy Bill his cakes. I rush out to the Co-op and purchased several boxes of cakes to tide Bill over. The next week I spoke to Graham and berated him gently for forgetting Bill’s cakes. He told me he had bought eight boxes of six or eight cakes and tarts and left them with Bill on Thursday morning – 56 cakes we estimated in total. Bill had eaten them all in the following 24 hours!

My friend Bill loved cakes.

Before the war Bill was a Co-op delivery boy. He was so dedicated that he did two complete rounds with his horse Dennis. He delivered bread and cake and confectionary and was paid £2/10/- a week plus he received a Shilling in the Pound commission on cakes. One week he earned over £9, at a time when £2/10/- was a good wage. I don’t know if that is why he loved cakes! The cakes were made by the legendary ‘Chuffy’ Godwin. I once asked Bill why he was called ‘Chuffy’ and Bill said it was because he had a big head, but I was none the wiser.

Bill was a fine sportsman, playing for Corinthians at football and various teams at cricket. His father was approached in the early 1930’s by a prominent league football team who offered Bill an apprenticeship. His father turned them down with the classic ‘why would he want to sign with you, he has a good job at the Co-op?’ Those were the days!

During the war Bill was a Royal Marine, but spent most of the time playing sport for the Marines or the Combined Services, including he told me a memorable match at ‘Syracusa Stadium in front of 30,000 servicemen’. One day I must try to work out where and when that match was.

His first day of action was landing in Normandy on D Day as part of 45 Commando. He landed in seven feet of water with the barked instruction – Keep your rifle dry! Bill couldn’t swim – some Marine – but somehow made it to the shore. Lifting his face up from the sand he saw next to him an old school friend that he had not seen for years. He never told me any other stories about his war.

After the war Bill worked in the office at the Greater Nottingham Co-op and became a member of the Board. He probably never again earned as much in relative terms as his days before 1939, but he continued to have contact with cakes and confectionary as his job was to control their Society wide distribution.

Once when Bill became a bit disorientated after a serious water infection he spent a few days in a horrific local care home. He refused to eat and when I went to see him I asked if they had tried giving him cakes, but cakes were not good for him, was their reply. Luckily for Bill he never had to return to that god forsaken place. I would tell you more about it, but it still upsets me.

There is a lot more I could say about Bill. It was my honour to carry out his funeral service when he passed away in his early nineties and do you know what, I think I might have mentioned that my friend Bill loved cakes.